Approvals and appraisals always mattered to me. I could do anything, stretch myself until my ligaments tore out of stress by doing things to get into the good books of others. Others could be anyone.
I always felt I am responsible for making any occasion or gathering exceptional, that I should overdo with my energies and entertain every one with my self created jokes and intellectual inputs.
Though people around me loved and appreciated my presence and my high spirited nature, obviously they were temporarily vitalized.
For many years I believed this was truly me.Then why did I feel exausted or feel pressure of some kind of over projection?
So many questions clogged my mind. What helped me was a thorough introspection of my behavior and connected emotions.
It was revealed that the real me always loved quite solitude more than extraversion. The real me was a good listener and never liked to talk always to instil my ideas or prove my point. I understood, it's not my responsibility to do gimmicks and entertain the people around me, that my family and friends loved and respected me even when I'm in my true self.
This was Picked up by ME, after many rounds of self corrections and changing my perspective about MYSELF. Self realisation is the best teacher..
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